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And while those gaps, when exposed, can be mutually negating, that's not always the case. You don't say why your dad was seeking sex outside the marriage, PH, and I can't imagine that was a conversation you wanted to have with your dad in your mid-teens—and it may not be one you ever want to have.

It is possible for someone to be a good dad and a shitty husband. But it's possible your parents' marriage was more complicated than you know.

To oversimplify what I mean, let’s take coffee for example. Only use current photos in your profile: One of the most common complaints I hear from men is that women frequently misrepresent themselves in their photos by using old photos (sometimes decades old) or by cropping them in too tightly so you don’t realize they are of a certain body type.

Most people can agree they don’t like scalding hot coffee, but it’s tough to get people to agree on how they do like their coffee. Obviously men do this as well; I’ve just heard this complaint more frequently from men than from women.

My brother and I were in our mid-teens at the time and were angry enough with him that we asked him to not seek custody. As I mature, I'm wondering if I was unfair to my dad by cutting off all contact. It doesn't help that some of the girls were not much older than I was at the time.

If you’re just dipping your toes back into the dating pool, free sites can be a great place to start.He was a wonderful father—and on some level, I recognize I cut him off when he showed me he was human. Each of us is a writhing mass of contradictions, PH.We all have public personas and private personas, and there are always gaps between the two. That he failed as a husband and hurt your mom—with an assist from laws criminalizing sex work—is another of your father's truths.He told me it wasn’t that he minded she was overweight; he was upset by the fact that she lied to him.Some people feel posting inaccurate photos of themselves is the only way to get dates because people judge so heavily by appearance. But are those dates resulting in the relationship you were looking for? Don’t skimp on your profile: I’m just going to say it — filling out your online dating profile is a pain in the ass, especially if you have to take a long quiz beforehand to determine your personality type.

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